Do's and Don't of Australian Lingo

Having been in Australia just over 3 weeks I can say that I do really like it here very much. It’s funny when I traveled through Southeast Asia there really were times of culture shock. However here in Australia things are not really all that fundamentally different than back in the U.S. Yes they drive on the other side of the street, what really got me was they also walk on the other side of the side walk and escalators are on the opposite side too, which has lead me into on coming pedestrian traffic on several occasions. I also forget to look in the correct direction when crossing the street which has almost gotten me run over. They do talk funny over here, much more English than American, but they are an English colony after all. Basically this post is about the differences in speech compared to back home, some I knew before coming over and some I had no clue about upon arrival.

First off you don’t figure something out you, “sort it out” such as lets sort out this situation. Australians reckon a lot as well, which is a bit of a taste of America however they use it a lot and it sometimes feels like I’m in Texas just with even funnier accents. You don’t clean up you “tidy up” and I know we use tidy in the states but they use it as a constant substitute for clean, you “tidy up” the house, a car is listed in the paper as being “tidy in and out”. You do things “straight away” here not right away. You don’t ask how are you doing, instead you ask “How are you going” some times with a “mate” thrown in at the end. The first time I was asked how I was going was on the train and I miss understood it for where are you going and my response went something like “Perth, just like everyone on the train”. They take a “Holiday” where as we go on vacation. You don’t go hiking you go for a bush walk. The letter H is actually pronounced “Haych”. Oh and all of you out there who thought the last letter of the alphabet was Z it is not, it is actually pronounced “Zed” if you’re an Australian, Canadian or from the U.K.

They have weird and off the wall names for food here as well, most of which I don’t understand in the least . They aren’t sugar, salt or pepper Packets, here they are “sachets”. Snap, Crackle and Pop don’t pimp out Rice Krispies over here they sell “Rice Bubbles”. You can’t find a red or green bell pepper over here they are called Capsicums. Although you can buy raisins most people know them as Sultanas they are even sold side by side and at the same price as raisins. If your child doesn’t like what you have prepared for dinner and decides to whine about it you would in fact tell him not to “grizzle” about it. As I said in a previous post Burger King is “Hungary Jack’s”. On T.V commercials McDonald’s is not Mcky D’s like we know, it is nicknamed “Macker’s” over here. Yes vegemite is as disgusting if not more than what you have heard, it taste like seaweed and a pound of salt blended together, or perhaps earwax, but I have never tasted earwax. When I was done trying vegemite I couldn’t throw it in the trash because over here it goes in the “Bin”.

They like nicknames for things over here as well, most things are not very creatively nicknamed they basically just put an “ey” or “ies” at the end of words. Your shades (sunglasses) would be your “sunnies” your board shorts are your “boardies”, your rash guard is your “Rashey” You don’t refer to bikers (motorcyclists) as such instead they are “Bikies”. There are a thousand more that I just can’t think of at the moment or haven’t had the fortune to learn yet, As I learn’em I will share them with you all (all y’all) they don’t use Y’all here either.

The next is a paragraph of animal related randomness as I am not sure I could do a whole post on any one of these topics.

They have amazing wildlife over here, especially when it comes to birds. They have birds of all shapes, sizes and colors; amazing colors combinations I have never seen. My least favorite bird is what I am told is a magpie they look like crows and are to me the most annoying sounding bird I have ever had the displeasure of hearing. When it is sitting on a limb it makes sounds like a sick cat, or a crying child which ever is more annoying to you, for me it is the sick cat noise, when it takes off to fly it makes a noise like a goat throwing up… eeehhhheehhhhwwwaaaahhhh. Kangaroos are all over the place out here which is really cool when you are on a drive or out hiking and you run across them, they are similar to deer and just like deer whined up dead on the road. It turns out those cute little Koala Bears (which are marsupials not bears) sit in trees all day not because they are cute and lazy they are in fact( in my mind) malnourished, the leaves they eat do not have much nutrition and they sleep all day to conserve their energy (which I guess they need to eat more leaves).

I know this sounded like me griping about a lot of things but in all honesty I think all those things make for a truly unique Australian experience and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Thanks for reading, my next post will probably be me updating everyone on what I have been up to over here. And as always please check out the flickr page with the photos on them at http://www.flickr.com/photos/28522437@N05/

Bryan Vs The Train

“All Aboard!” they really do say that still before the train pulls away from the station. I think air travel would be a lot cooler if they said something catchy like that before the plane takes off instead of the boring safety briefing which if you’ve flown more than 3 times in your life you can recite from memory. I honestly had no idea what was in store for me when I booked the train ticket that would take me across the entire continent of Australia. It was a 3 day journey that would take 65 hours of travel make 2 stops a day, of which you could get off the train and breathe fresh air on and introduce me to every extreme of Australian landscape. The train was called the Indian Pacific because it links the two oceans which boarder the west and east coasts of Australia. It should have however been called the Retirement Express because I have never been surrounded by so many old people out side of a Hospital or Nursing Home in my entire life. I thought it would be packed full of young backpackers taking the cheap way across the land but no.

Here’s the scene you have this massively long train probably half a mile, said train is broken up into Platinum, Gold, Red Sleeper and Red Seat services. As you can probably guess I was in the Red Seat service, which consists of 25 rows of 2 seats on each side of the train. Now these seats are fairly comfortable, have ample leg room and recline to about a 130 degree angle for sleeping, not shabby for a young person to deal with for 65 hours but picture a multitude of 80 year olds who presumably hate to fly and there you have about half my train experience.

The other half of my lovely time was spent listening to the Australian equivalent of a white trash mother and her two unruly children (roughly 4 and 2) run up and down the aisle, squealing and yelling at each other, while not once did the “Mum” try to discipline the child, all she would say (and this is engrained in my memory till the day I die, I’m sure) “Jacob, Zachary” in her twangy rural Australian accent sounded more like “Jayyyccob, Zaaackery). Oh did I mention she sat in her seat and listened to music stored on her phone at full volume for all the train to hear, all 4 songs played in a loop for like 8 hours. The kicker of course was that her and her 2 children must have each gotten up to use the bath room or throw something away in the “Rubbish Bin” which was two rows behind me about 11ty billion times, bringing her phone with her each time. I had a great stoke of luck in being sat next to a younger German guy who hardly talked at all, he spoke English perfectly but I guess was just not a talker as we had about a minute long conversation every morning, afternoon and evening. He was also small in stature which was nice as he didn’t take up much space.

The scenery leaving Sydney was beautiful, once you get out side of the city you get in to some farm land and then pretty quickly ascend into the Blue Mountains which are stunning and some what Blue Ridge Mountain-esk. I would have loved to have traveled through the Blue Mt area during the day time however I did get to view a lovely sunset from atop one of the mountain passes. Fortunately for me and the entire train the woman and her kids got off the first morning followed by a majority of the elderly that afternoon once we arrived in Adelaide. Adelaide was lovely, very nice city with very pleasant weather being that it is down South in Winter time. After a 3.5 hour stop over in Adelaide we re-boarded the train for the second night. We picked up new passengers in Adelaide that would travel all the way to Perth, which packed out the train, the day before the car was only half full. This new barrage of passengers were the younger backpacking crowd I had been expecting, mostly Germans and other Europeans.

After leaving Adelaide and traveling over night you wake up to the Eastern fringes of the Nullarbor Plain which literally means “No Trees” in Latin. The majority of the plain consists of small scrub grass and if there is a tree here and there they don’t grow above what appeared to be 6 feet tall. The Nullarbor Plain is the World’s largest single piece of limestone, so says wikipedia. It takes about 8 hours of train travel to cross it heading east to west. There is a stretch of rail on the Nullarbor Plain that is the longest straight stretch of railroad in the world and it lasts for 302 miles. We stopped once in those 8 hours at a now nearly deserted railroad town called Cook were presently 3 people live, solely to service the train. Cook is essentially as about as the middle of no where as one could expect, unless that person was Australian in which case they could site a number of towns more remote than Cook, I‘m sure.

The train did have a Red Service dinning car which was nice to escape to for a reprieve from my seat. There were not many tables in the dinning car so people would ask to sit with you if you were on person at a 4 person table. This lead to many conversations with the old folks aboard the train, them telling me stories of Australia gone by and of their travels to the states or stories of the children, you know pretty standard old person gab. We also stopped in a mining town the night before we pulled into Perth, this town call Kalgoorlie which is the 5th largest town in all of Western Australia with a population of roughly 30,000. I’m told they have a huge open pit gold mine called the “Super Pit” which is 2.2 miles long by 1 mile wide. They also I am told have legal prostitution and a street you can walk where the woman stand in the door ways or windows or something like that. I went for a walk to find something to eat and was join by the guy who sat a seat behind me who looked like an Australian version of a young Bob Dylan with the Afro and black wool coat, give him sunglasses and a guitar and he would have won any look-a-like contest in the world. He turn out also won the title for most socially awkward Australian Bob Dylan as holding a conversation with him was like pulling teeth, he was very quiet and very nerdy it turned out. Either way we found an ok pizza place and had a meal. Then got back on to the train where on of the elderly contention decided to step off the train for a smoke at the ripe old age 120 and missed her step even though someone was assisting her over the gap in the platform and fell between the train and station platform resulting in a not to serious scrapped knee. She was then taken by ambulance to the hospital where it was agreed she would spend the night and take the morning train. Did I forget to mention that the paramedics were being filmed for what I can only hope was Western Australia’s very boring version of mining town “Cops”. After that was all sorted out we got the train rolling for the last over night journey to Perth.

It was amazing to see the landscape change over the entire journey from Metropolis into farmland, rolling hills, 6000 ft mountains back to rolling country side with sheep grazing everywhere then into fertile farm land full of crops and sheep then slowly into scrubby forest land then desert looking forests then straight desert scrub for 800 miles then back to scrubby forests and then farm land and finally back to suburban sprawl. I can also say that the twilight of Australia is like nothing I ever seen in 26 years. The sky turns from blue to deep blue into indigo and then fades to black from the deepest purple I have ever seen, if I tried a hundred years I don’t think I could describe it perfectly enough to do it justice.

The chance to experience Australia at a glance from a train was amazing, it was like reading the “Cliffs Notes” on Australian geography. I can’t really say that I would do it again however I would recommend it if you were ever given the opportunity to do it. But I am the type of person who can sit for hours on end and stare out a window, while trying to read a book or listening to music. Also much to my annoyance I did not see one wild kangaroo, camel (yes Camel) or Dingo. All though I was told they were out there.

Now I am in Perth staying with my very gracious friends Jesse and Dawn and their son Owen who have invited me to stay at their home for as long as I like. In Perth I will try to establish my self for a few months, work, play and explore as much of Western Australia as I can. My blog post will probably get a little less frequent but I will try to maintain regular entries. As always thank you for reading and scope out some photos at http://www.flickr.com/photos/28522437@